chemo

Life in the fog

ThJenny Wood artat’s 3 times in two days I’ve been asked ‘where is your blog post?’. Oops I’ve been very slack. So here are some news flashes.

Too much information?

2 weeks ago, I said to the MOTH, see if you can find the tumour. I swear it’s not big enough to feel anymore.

MOTH: “I can feel something there”

Me: “That’s my rib. There’s one just like it on the other side”.

I know that’s too much information but try not to visualise the scenario and you’ll be fine. The point is… IT’S SHRINKING!

It’s such a risk doing a clinical trial. Having chemo first and surgery 2nd means I didn’t ‘get that thing outa there’ which is the first impulse. This Tuesday will be the last of cycle two. As you know, I have 3 weekly infusions of chemo and a one week break so after this week it’s break time woo hoo! Apparently my blood count is still normal so hooray for the ridiculous amount of supplements I’m taking. They are a meal all in themselves. All I need to do is pour milk on them and eat them for breakfast.

Life in the fog

Somehow I’m still running around the athletics track (9 times non-stop last week), going to gym and pilates as well as socialising to the maximum. I have had 3 weeks without a free day and most nights out as well. I know it’s too much but I take little naps during the day so don’t start growling at me y’all.

I am not getting much sleep for the first time in my life with the HRT being brutally taken away (BOO!) and the cortisone which comes with the chemo. I suddenly fell into fog land on Thursday. My brain went to mush and now I am having to write lists for basic things such as… sending a card, phoning people etc. Yeesh. I’ve gone from ‘Mrs Organised’ to ‘Mrs Mush’. Soon I’ll need a note to remind me the dogs name.

Here lies the biggest problem. The MOTH, who has never worn a watch, doesn’t have a mobile phone and has never kept a diary, has always relied on me to do the organising. ‘Where are we going tonight?’, ‘Who with?’, ‘What time?’.

What will happen to us?

I’m afraid.

Baldness trivia

Do you know, that when you have very little hair and it’s about 1mm long, it sticks to your pillow like velcro? When I try to roll over I wrench my neck and it ends up sore the next morning. I know it’s odd but if you haven’t worked it out yet… I’m odd.

 Mothers day classic run

Tonight I’m going out for dinner and then getting up at 5am to run the Mothers day classic. Our team has raised over $2000 and almost 3 including individual amounts. I thank you all from my heart for the donations. The clinical trial I am currently on wouldn’t exist without donations such as yours. If you see me on the TV, I’ll be the one with the spotty bald head running through a cloud of fog. Our team fundraiser link 

Another story about the shrinking egg.

This morning, after a one week break from treatment, I had the shrinking egg measured prior to my chemo session in the ‘Turban factory’. The Doctor was amazed and excited as she struggled to find it so that she could do the measurements! After only 3 treatments this is very fast shrinkage, especially considering it was a very aggressive tumour. Unfortunately they measure the width rather than the height. Prior to treatment, it was as high as a small egg and now it is a flat marble size. The width today measured as 2cm whereas it was 4cm before. The Dr found it a bit difficult to take the measurements as it is so flat now. I wonder where it will be at next time it’s measured in 4 weeks time. Having only had 3 chemo sessions, that’s pretty exciting yes? Thank God for fast response to prayer for someone who is impatient by nature. It certainly helps me to have faith, hope and a positive outlook.

10287830_10152147511869506_1343794248_oTaking part in the clinical trial means I will need to complete all of the treatment regardless of the outcome. I’m happy to do this because it contributes to research. Besides, it’s not only about shrinking tumours, it’s about killing the little beasties which are floating around in my body looking for a place to land.

The other exciting news is that my blood tests were ‘amazing’ according to the nurses. I heard them raving about them to themselves so I asked if it was my results they were discussing and they said ‘yes, your blood is incredible’. The doctor said I have  a good baseline because I am physically fit and my diet was good. Woo hoo!

So it’s looking like the Fun Run for the breast cancer research on Mother’s day is going ahead at this rate. Our team has raised over $1000 and individuals in our team have also raised money so that’s really awesome and I thank everyone who has supported the run.

You can contribute to our team fund raising here

I ALSO managed to persuade the doctor to give me permission to use the Peninsula Hot Springs. They require a written consent form before they will let me use them. Usually us chemo patients aren’t allowed in spas but the Hot Springs are fee flowing, rather than a hot puddle of germs and chlorine like the usual gym spas. I’m going away for the weekend with my 3 sisters soon so this will be part of our weekend. I’m so excited as it’s the 1st time ever I’ve spent a weekend just with my sisters!

Hairless happenings

I have totally spooked the poor waiter at Lower Deck Cafe with my ‘bald head and baseball cap’ appearance (after sport), wig variations and hat creations. They don’t like to ask but I see the question burning on their lips. What is their question though and who would ask it? I think I’ll keep them guessing.

10154535_10152134565794506_4193136607193693537_nThe same goes for my gym. I did my workout in my criminal cap and then did my ‘wig routine’ in the change rooms. I managed to do the headgear swap in 3.5 seconds while nobody was in there. I feel like a Mrs Doubtfire double with all my appendages. Reading glasses, hearing aides and wigs. It’s all a balancing act.

Hats are an issue with my hearing as they muffle the sound. If I wear hearing aides with a hat they squeal. I sound like a cot case don’t I? Actually I feel great! So glad we can get props for all our failing bits and pieces nowadays:)

I’ve taken to wearing wigs mostly but even then I am not terribly elegant about it…

Thank God for daughters

Last Saturday, while shopping at Eastland, my daughter said ‘MUM… you’re making very un-natural gestures with your wig’. You can always trust a daughter to tell you when you look ridiculous. I realised then that I have a habit of treating the wigs like a hat. I pat the top down if it feels like it’s sticking up, adjust the position of it on my head and pull the back down when it’s creeping up. Sometimes I itch my head under the wig and the arms of my sun glasses tend to go under the wig and around my ears instead of over. So what’s wrong with that?

I’m a class act really.

 

I’m moulting! moulting! Oh, what a world! What a world!

… but please don’t throw a bucket of water over me.

I had that spelled as ‘malting’ because I thought it was funnier but a certain friend thought I was turning into beer so I’ve changed it to moulting just for him. Yeesh.

Note: For those who need the explanation… ‘I’m melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!’ is from the Wizard of Oz

Unfinished 'malting' art piece.

‘Moulting’ (unfinished)

Although it’s shedding quite quickly, I’m trying to make my hair last until Easter Sunday. Not as a strange religious ceremony but because Shannon is coming over to have his head shaved and we thought we might do it together. As an act of support, Shannon’s lovely boss at Millar and Merrigan has donated $500 to our Mothers day classic fun run team, from the company funds. A big thanks to them!

Screenshot 17:04:2014 9:52 amMy other son, Blake, shaved his head a week or so back so we are going to look like some weird cult family the way we are going. The MOTH has declined and so has Sophie. Boo!

I must say, all jokes aside, it isn’t something I’m looking forward to. I’ve always had a mop of curly hair, hence the ‘dishmoptop’.  As much as ‘it’s only hair’ it feels like I’m being stripped of my identity. Will I just look like a cancer patient now? I’ve managed to dodge the pitying looks and stares so far. Perhaps it will be liberating to have all my vices stripped away. Or not.

Of course, I do have the most gorgeous WIGS ever. Rachel Welsh ones in fact. The MOTH always fancied her so it might put a spark into the marriage *wink*.

It’s going to be interesting as I’ve always hated wearing hats, or anything on my head. It feels like I’ve got my head in a vice. I even hate pony tails! However, I’m getting a lovely hat collection going and I’m almost looking forward to wearing them.

 Chemo news

I know this is TMI but I’ve had an ‘upset stomach’ for 3 days now. No nausea, just annoying trips to the loo all day and night. I’ve gone from one extreme to the other which is common on Paclitaxel. I’m either taking a laxative or Gastrostop and nothing in between. But it’s not debilitating and the only other painful side effect I have is a niggling sore throat, which is also common.

Chemo art!

Chemo art!

The cortisone they give me with the chemo keeps me WIDE awake on the first night after chemo. I got so exasperated with it this week that I took a sleeping tablet (prescription) and I managed to get 2 hours sleep and was wide awake for the rest of the night and the next day. I think I should make good use of all that energy on chemo nights and go work in a factory or something. Perhaps they are giving me speed or something by mistake.

Now that I’ve bored you with my complaints… I’ve got exciting news. I have a one week break from chemo next week. HOORAY!!!

That will be my first ’round’ finished (4 week block). 7 to go and who’s counting?

Screenshot 16:04:2014 10:02 am

The story of the shrinking egg

Watch this space

Last week I told the doctor the tumour is shrinking and she said ‘it won’t be shrinking yet it’s too early’. Well watch this space doctor!! I can now lay on my stomach for the first time in months (the lump was very large and uncomfortable before) and the tumour is now back to golf ball size from the previous egg size.  It’s the benefit of breast cancer over some other types of cancer that I can SEE the tumour and watch it shrink.

Whether you believe it’s prayer, diet (cutting out sugar and carbs etc), chemo or a combination of everything… I’m claiming it!! So yes. Watch this space.

Taking advise from others

It’s always good to have helpful advise from people and I appreciate it very much but it’s also important that I research my game plan and feel positive about it. My health plan isn’t ‘random’, it’s been discussed with my doctors, clinical trial specialists and I’ve read many medical journals, books and discussed options with health experts.

Whether my choices are the best in other peoples eyes can’t be a focus for me. In order to feel ‘positive’ I need to be confident that it will work and it gives me a way to contribute to my health, along with prayer and support from friends.

So please don’t think I don’t appreciate what you suggest as a lot of it has been very helpful and I know it is well intended.

As for exercise. No, I’m not over doing it and yes it is the best thing to do when you are on chemo, according to research. I’m under no illusions as to how long I have to keep it up and how my white blood cells vanishing will make me tired. By nature I’m a fighter. I’m not going to sit on the couch and lose all of my energy by being inactive. Energy doesn’t ‘save’. It depletes when you don’t maintain your fitness.

Doctors used to advise people to rest as much as possible during treatment, but this has changed. We now know that too much rest results in loss of muscle strength and leaves you with low energy levels. Read more here

Here are the benefits of exercising during chemo:

-reduces side effects of the chemo
-reduces tiredness (fatigue)
-reduce stress and anxiety
-helps look after your bones
-helps look after your heart
-helps reduce your risk of getting a blood clot
-helps keep your weight healthy

If you’re on chemo and you don’t have an exercise routine, start very slowly. It’s not the time to get into hard core fitness now!It’s best to find an approach which suits you as it’s not for everyone. I’m 53 years old and had started a running routine about 5 months before I began chemo. I also go to pilates, body balance and workout in the gym. All of this I did prior to getting cancer so my body is used to it.

There are many hundreds of sites supporting exercise during fitness, both medical journals and personal cases. Of course it’s important not to over do it and to listen to your body when it needs rest.

Here is an example of someone who rode her bike to and from her chemotherapy sessions

Mothers day classic

We’ve started a Mothers day classic team called ‘The Wood Hood’ team. We’ve raised $135 so far Woo hoo! I hope I’ll feel up to it when the time comes but it’s given me a goal.

So if you can afford to support our team or join it, here is the link.

 

 

Breast cancer post #5- bald is beautiful?

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There is no doubt that having breast cancer makes me question what’s important. I’ve always lived life to the fullest, perhaps because both of my parents died young (biological father- 23 and mother- 54). Perhaps it’s just my personality. Having cancer takes my focus a step further however. It is probably a phase I’m going through but I have little interest in the usual life pleasures right now. I’m finding it more important to connect with people. You should see my diary!

Are split ends important? A broken finger nail? Work? Home decorations? Shopping? Well no. I’m sure it’s a temporary state of mind. In saying that, I have to say yes… losing my hair does mean something. Call me vain but I’m not sure that it’s all about vanity.

It’s very confronting to go to a wig shop and try on wigs (which made me look like a supermodel I have to say LOL). It’s even worse to have your hair tucked away and a ‘chemo hat’ planted on your head. I didn’t look like me. I looked like a cancer patient. I know hair isn’t everything it’s just on the outside but it confronted me with my illness in a very powerful way. It’s just as well the lovely lady in the shop was prattling away in my ear and distracting me from the sight.

This week I had my hair chopped to shoulder length. Perhaps I’ll get 1cm cut every day for the next 3 weeks! In the meantime, I’m designing my own hats so watch this space. I’ve never been a hat person (they don’t stay on my head) so that will be a new fashion statement. Sophie and I went looking at hats (and other stuff) last night. I didn’t buy any but tried on a few… You like?

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