There is no doubt that having breast cancer makes me question what’s important. I’ve always lived life to the fullest, perhaps because both of my parents died young (biological father- 23 and mother- 54). Perhaps it’s just my personality. Having cancer takes my focus a step further however. It is probably a phase I’m going through but I have little interest in the usual life pleasures right now. I’m finding it more important to connect with people. You should see my diary!
Are split ends important? A broken finger nail? Work? Home decorations? Shopping? Well no. I’m sure it’s a temporary state of mind. In saying that, I have to say yes… losing my hair does mean something. Call me vain but I’m not sure that it’s all about vanity.
It’s very confronting to go to a wig shop and try on wigs (which made me look like a supermodel I have to say LOL). It’s even worse to have your hair tucked away and a ‘chemo hat’ planted on your head. I didn’t look like me. I looked like a cancer patient. I know hair isn’t everything it’s just on the outside but it confronted me with my illness in a very powerful way. It’s just as well the lovely lady in the shop was prattling away in my ear and distracting me from the sight.
This week I had my hair chopped to shoulder length. Perhaps I’ll get 1cm cut every day for the next 3 weeks! In the meantime, I’m designing my own hats so watch this space. I’ve never been a hat person (they don’t stay on my head) so that will be a new fashion statement. Sophie and I went looking at hats (and other stuff) last night. I didn’t buy any but tried on a few… You like?
I really don’t see you in any off the shelf hat. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with and would love to make something for you to wear too. You’ll have to send me some specifications.
You won’t ever look like a cancer patient to me. You will always be my beautiful big sister.
Stay strong Jen
Thanks little sis. I’m sure you’ll come up with something adorable xx
Actually Jen the ‘seeing things in a different light’ has never gone away for me. My house and car are always messier now coz I’d rather ride my motorbike with my hubby, take my 17 year old out for driving practice or go to my Van. It may or may not be a phase but it is indeed worth embracing. As for the hair, I too found the thought really hard but the reality, when it finally came to it – liberating. And the other amazing moment I will never forget is when you come out the other side and wind down your car window and feel the wind in your hair when it grows back enough to feel it – again, the little things feel so great 😘 so many things to enjoy my friend. I’m loving the blog xx
Thanks Caro. You’ve always been an inspirational person. Even before you got BC xxx
How about a series of paper hats (self illustrated), and as quirky as hell !
Sure Iain you just want me to look freaky so you get a laugh I know!
I’m not selfish – everyone else can laugh too