MFB

Don’t you love the roller coaster?

Have you ever felt like you’re on a roller coaster? This 3 weekly chemo sure feels like it. I seem to have one week at the bottom and two weeks climbing back up to the top. It reminds me of one of my favourite movie scenes. Watch the clip it’s only short. 

Would I prefer to be on a roundabout? Would I appreciate my ‘good days’ if I was? Probably not… but it’s tempting to say STOP I WANT TO GET OFF! 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Last week I was a LOT better than the episode before. I still had stabbing pains in the stomach from the legendary ‘chemo irritated stomach ulcer’, nausea and brain fog galore. The dexamethasone keeps me awake all night so I’m tired all day. I can’t remember anything from the day before (serious!!!!). BUT this is a whole lot better than the last dose and by the weekend I was pretty good. So I’ve now got the knack of juggling the drugs and keeping my week free of appointments. I also know not to attempt to drive the car. That leaves me 2 weeks of party time. Well… in my own little ‘foggy party girl’ way. Back to running on the treadmill tomorrow:)

Splinter fella

If you think I tease my husband too much… then you don’t know him or the MFB. They don’t know the meaning of ‘enough’. The MOTH had 2 weeks off with his splinter injury and was dreading going back to work because he knew what would happen. Those guys are the masters of teasing. Not that the MOTH doesn’t love every minute of it of course. Attention is attention after all!

He arrived at the Firestation, with his little black plastic finger cover that the hand specialist told him he had to wear over his finger. Prior to that day he wore that cover for about 4 hours total so this was all a show for the guys at the #15 Firestation.

He walked in the door and discovered all the walls and windows in the station covered in signs such as these (below). His chair had a ‘splinter free zone’ sign on it. He arrived in the mess room for breakfast to find that all of the firemen were wearing black tape over their middle finger in sympathy.10609127_10152376518354506_1913811945_n

THEN… the ‘peer support’ team from headquarters called him to ask if he needed any support for his splinter. Obviously ‘somebody’ put them up to it. His mate Graham was limping and explained that he had a splinter in his foot. So on and so forth… all day… all week… until…

Will he ever hear the end of it? I think not. Meanwhile… he keeps giving everyone ‘The bird’ and thinks he can get away with it if he says ‘I’ve got a splinter’ at the same time.

What about MY finger?

My finger nails are doing weird things. I have a massive dent in one fingernail and a lump where the nail is buckling under my skin. Any sympathy out there? No. My doctor said it was normal and my nail will probably fall off. OK. I’ll just deal with it. After all, it isn’t a splinter is it?

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In all fairness… Col has been such a honey during my time of illness I don’t know what I would do without him. He is a tower of strength and support and our relationship has grown so much closer through the storm. I can’t thank him enough and wish that everybody had a best buddy to be married to like I have.  It’s times like this that I really appreciate him. Love you honey!

Just so you know, sometimes I’m pretty grumpy too. I know that’s hard to imagine ha ha.

Chemo information

I received an email from Healthline.com this week asking me if I would put a link to their chemo information and the 19 common side effects.  So there it is! I’m doing my thing for Healthline (whoever they are). They believe that people need to be aware. Hmm. I am in two minds. I think it’s pretty scary to read but I also like it’s honesty. So much of the information for patients is sugar coated. I’ll let you decide.

Wow I’m glad I didn’t read that before I started. I have almost all of those side effects but it seems worse when you read them than when you have them. Strange but true.

Breast cancer post #5- bald is beautiful?

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There is no doubt that having breast cancer makes me question what’s important. I’ve always lived life to the fullest, perhaps because both of my parents died young (biological father- 23 and mother- 54). Perhaps it’s just my personality. Having cancer takes my focus a step further however. It is probably a phase I’m going through but I have little interest in the usual life pleasures right now. I’m finding it more important to connect with people. You should see my diary!

Are split ends important? A broken finger nail? Work? Home decorations? Shopping? Well no. I’m sure it’s a temporary state of mind. In saying that, I have to say yes… losing my hair does mean something. Call me vain but I’m not sure that it’s all about vanity.

It’s very confronting to go to a wig shop and try on wigs (which made me look like a supermodel I have to say LOL). It’s even worse to have your hair tucked away and a ‘chemo hat’ planted on your head. I didn’t look like me. I looked like a cancer patient. I know hair isn’t everything it’s just on the outside but it confronted me with my illness in a very powerful way. It’s just as well the lovely lady in the shop was prattling away in my ear and distracting me from the sight.

This week I had my hair chopped to shoulder length. Perhaps I’ll get 1cm cut every day for the next 3 weeks! In the meantime, I’m designing my own hats so watch this space. I’ve never been a hat person (they don’t stay on my head) so that will be a new fashion statement. Sophie and I went looking at hats (and other stuff) last night. I didn’t buy any but tried on a few… You like?

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